its been a year now..

..since I wrote anything on this blog. Its been a year since I started my new job. Its been a year since I really felt like myself. Its been a year since I forgot what I truly like and what I really stand for.

I went on a path, a path going backwards. I remembered why I choose not to go into a certain direction only this year.

But its been more than a year, its almost been 1,5 years. 1,5 years of my life.

I had an amazing time the past months, one of the best times in my life. I also had, most likely also one of the toughest period of my life. The more love you receive, the more hate you will receive.

I will continue on this later.



Feeling so old now to say this, but I miss the 90s. There is just nothing with modern life that is as good as it was then. Or it is just adults life?

Everything just feels so planned and structured, my life turned out to be ”the office”. I am currently spending a lot of time at the office, thank god there are fun people and it is a new city because I have been there at ”the office” in my old city of Stockholm, which I know inside out and with less fun people. There is just nothing more boring than where there is nothing exciting and new.

90s with colorful clothes and that attitude, that dance moves and school and all the different characters at school, the popular mean girls, the shy girl, the sports fanatics the ”bullied or bullies” today there is just a boss and workers pretty much. Well at least the ones I know have good character or it would be boring.

It is crazy how dependent I am of how things are around me, if something is not feeling ok or like I want it to be around. Then my whole world falls apart. I am working hard for living the life in which I feel good in, or I would get seriously depressed. Been there, not fun.


Week 2

I am sitting here and looking down on the canals of Amsterdam, a canal named Korte Prinsgracht, something. The names are so difficult here for me, what a stimulation for my highly restless over consuming brain, perfect.

Down by the canal there are boats passing by almost every 15th second, one after the other and also from different directions towards each other. A lot of turists of course but also some high and drunk people just enjoying them selfes, I guess.

I took a walk this evening just before I got home to se the final episodes of got which I´ve missed. Amsterdam is so different from the nordic countries, even if even Stockholm is becoming more similar to a, what I call is, a real european city, Stockholm still has a long way to go. People here are sitting out, they speak, they bicycle around, chill by the canals, outside their apartments, look and live. I fell in love with this a couple of years ago when I moved abroad the first time, it was so different from how I grew up and I wanted more life around me so I never really got back home since then.

Right now, I feel so lucky to be here and actually live here and probably forever. But there is one thing in my life bothering me right now and which i am thinking of tonight and it is people that are too controlling and just psychos. You cant force or manipulate a clever human being to make some certain actions, just leave it instead…


Hello you all. My self.

Sitting here in a amazing apartment in Korte Princegracht which is in the center of Amsterdam and eating lasagne and drinking sangria. I have already been here for 2 night and will stay 10 more days until I leave for Dublin for a month and then back to Amsterdam. I am moving here! I am officially a expat = highly skilled professional immigrant. Lets see for how long I will stay this time.

I did not chose Amsterdam myself, I chose the job and with that came this Amazing location. Amsterdam is perfect for me, young and highly vibrant with a lot of professionals.

I’ve career changed. Moved from one career to another. The thing is, I have tried a lot of jobs. I was lucky being able to work with my passions too but I’ve noticed that I concentrated on the wrongs things in career. Unfortunately for some people passion for something is not what they are suppose to work with. Or maybe not ”unfortunately” because we do not actually know what is right or wrong in this case. I followed my passion but what actually gives me energy and drive in my work, is not my passion. So I choose a job that gave me the things that actually drives me. I am still not 100 % sure what really drives me but if you get a combination of a lot of things that might give you energy then you are successful.

I actually saw a very interesting speech from a previous student of university of San Diego and he said a good thing which was ”If you do not follow your passion then make what you want your passion”.


Out traveling

Of course, did not even pack out my bag before I started to back another one. I am traveling around balkan and will be in Montenegro, Kosovo, Croatia and Albania for 2 weeks.

It is so beautiful here, if you are a GOT fan u probably know some scenes were made here. I try to relax but I realized that I am never truly relaxed, always something on my mind.

My family is amazing. Missed them so much.

California, where my soul is.

So I am back now. Jet lagged and in some kind of strongly focused mode.I am working with a couple of projects at the same time, I like my flow and I wanna keep it this way. I went to California to get this flow because this is exactly who I am and I don’t want any distractions anymore loosing it.


California was amazing, I feel more home there than anywhere else. I am already planning my next trip there or maybe even trying out Miami because I got some new friends over there as well. But first I have some recruiters after me back in Stockholm so I need to see these for an interview. The next thing I am going to buy my self is a Jeep Sahara to drive around and pick up my friend for surfing or just hanging out. I love the place in Stockholm where I grew up because the wibe is a bit Californian and I love it.

I have been having so much fun in LA that I cannot even describe it, but it is also a very dramatic city with lots of emo people so everything was not a dance on roses. I am happy to be home except my jet lag and the weather here. I am looking for my next trip and I do not know where it is going to be. Maybe a weekend in Berlin because one of my friends from LA is there, we will see or London! 🙂

Have a great day!