Feeling so old now to say this, but I miss the 90s. There is just nothing with modern life that is as good as it was then. Or it is just adults life?

Everything just feels so planned and structured, my life turned out to be ”the office”. I am currently spending a lot of time at the office, thank god there are fun people and it is a new city because I have been there at ”the office” in my old city of Stockholm, which I know inside out and with less fun people. There is just nothing more boring than where there is nothing exciting and new.

90s with colorful clothes and that attitude, that dance moves and school and all the different characters at school, the popular mean girls, the shy girl, the sports fanatics the ”bullied or bullies” today there is just a boss and workers pretty much. Well at least the ones I know have good character or it would be boring.

It is crazy how dependent I am of how things are around me, if something is not feeling ok or like I want it to be around. Then my whole world falls apart. I am working hard for living the life in which I feel good in, or I would get seriously depressed. Been there, not fun.



Week 2

I am sitting here and looking down on the canals of Amsterdam, a canal named Korte Prinsgracht, something. The names are so difficult here for me, what a stimulation for my highly restless over consuming brain, perfect.

Down by the canal there are boats passing by almost every 15th second, one after the other and also from different directions towards each other. A lot of turists of course but also some high and drunk people just enjoying them selfes, I guess.

I took a walk this evening just before I got home to se the final episodes of got which I´ve missed. Amsterdam is so different from the nordic countries, even if even Stockholm is becoming more similar to a, what I call is, a real european city, Stockholm still has a long way to go. People here are sitting out, they speak, they bicycle around, chill by the canals, outside their apartments, look and live. I fell in love with this a couple of years ago when I moved abroad the first time, it was so different from how I grew up and I wanted more life around me so I never really got back home since then.

Right now, I feel so lucky to be here and actually live here and probably forever. But there is one thing in my life bothering me right now and which i am thinking of tonight and it is people that are too controlling and just psychos. You cant force or manipulate a clever human being to make some certain actions, just leave it instead…